


the path to apathy

by sunflower_8



Series: who we are [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Arguments, F/F, F/M, I'm Sorry, Post Game, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Unhealthy Relationships, gonta is mean pre game, tsumugi shirogane is an asshole here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:15:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: himiko, gonta, and kaede take a walk.(gonta feels someone else there)
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu (VERY MINOR), Gokuhara Gonta & Akamatsu Kaede, Gokuhara Gonta/Shirogane Tsumugi (past), Shirogane Tsumugi/Akamatsu Kaede (past)
Series: who we are [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1489475
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	the path to apathy

seeing himiko energetic was rare. 

gonta watched her running back and forth on the path, filled with an infrequent burst of strength and mania. he was taking a walk with her and kaede, who was strolling off by herself, an unreadable expression on her face. gonta tried really hard to decipher it, but he didn’t get anywhere. he didn’t really have the perception skills shuichi or rantaro had, anyway. 

“gonta!” himiko said childishly. 

he sighed tiredly, not feeling like talking. still, he could see kaede watching him with a critical eye, and he  _ did  _ have a soft spot for the small redhead who surprisingly liked him.  _ people very rarely do these days _ , he mused. himiko was walking up to him now, so he mustered a grumble as a reply. 

she smiled, looking a little more exhausted. “i’m getting tired. can you carry me?”

he nodded, allowing the other to climb up on his back. her getting tired was a cue that they should start heading back, which was a pain-staking process. kaede had to figure out the closing of most shops and people’s walking schedules to even get out in public, and walking back while remaining obscured was going to be difficult. none of them had really made any moves to change their appearance, so people could recognize them easily.

_ i’d rather not be recognized,  _ gonta thought, a little panicked.  _ i’d really fucking hate that. i’m sick of people asking why i’m an asshole. i’m really fucking sick of it. and if they make a move on a sleepy himiko- _

“gonta?” kaede’s voice snapped him out of his paranoid reverie. “she’s already asleep. we should get back as fast as we can.” 

“yeah,” he said in assent. the blonde gave him a small smile and lead the way, taking turns that were clearly to avoid pedestrians or cars. it was really risky being out here, but gonta was a little happy about it. it was pretty cold, which he preferred to warm, sunny days. he disliked what was so inherently pleasant.

_ i knew someone pleasant, and she turned out to be evil.  _

he shut his eyes quickly, taking in a deep breath before opening them again. he  _ really  _ did not want to think about her, because he would be  _ really fucking happy _ if she could stop plaguing his life. back when he was a gentlemen, he might have liked it. he liked her. he liked her a lot, and now he hated her because she  _ ruined  _ his life. 

“tch,” kaede scoffed without prompt. gonta shot her a look, and she continued with a roll of her eyes. “the weather today is obnoxious. i really don’t want to get sick.”

gonta wished he wasn’t so envious of her ability to want the pleasant. clearly, clearly she hadn’t made the mental connections he had, and he suddenly realized why shuichi hated being so smart, so quick: guilty knowledge. gonta didn’t really want to know anything anymore. “i think it’s fine,” he replied sharply.

“cool.” she tucked her hair behind her ear, and it wasn’t nearly as wavy as  _ her’s  _ but she used to do the exact same motion- “you’re having a flash, aren’t you?” gonta blinked in surprise, but managed a shake of his head. she raised her eyebrow. “you’re definitely thinking about something shitty. if you want to share, i’m open. miu tells me i’m a good listener.”

“you’re blunt,” gonta argued. “and not that helpful.”

she smiled morosely. “well, the first is why i’m a good listener, and i’d say the latter is debatable. what is it, gonta?”

he fell quiet, thinking over his words to try and phrase his struggle in the most vague way possible. the last thing he wanted was his strength--  _ everything he had _ \-- to be easily stripped away by kaede with a snap of her fingers. eventually, he settled on: “i’m thinking about someone.”

“tsumugi?” she asked casually.

“ _ dammit _ !” gonta said a little too loudly. “why the fuck do you have to know everything? it could have been anybody, and yet you knew it was her. oh, whatever. venting is bullshit,” he decided, shutting his mouth and deciding to ignore kaede the rest of their trip home. 

(that’d be miserable, because he did quite like kaede, but he hated her in the same way he hated most of his ‘friends’: they knew everything and nobody cared enough to pretend they didn’t.)

kaede shrugged. “sorry. i figured being honest would help get the words out or whatever.” she paused, hesitating. “you liked her, didn’t you?”

“you are an asshole, kaede akamatsu.”

she laughed, but gonta found nothing  _ fucking  _ funny. “we’re more alike than you think.” he wrinkled his nose in disgust and confusion, but she continued with a giggle. “i mean, come on. both assholes trying to improve, both having flashbacks to that blue-haired bitch…”

gonta stopped in his tracks. it took kaede a bit to notice, turning around and staring at him from a distance. he was initially worried himiko would wake up, but she was totally knocked out. still, he whispered harshly, “fuck you. you don’t know what it was like. knowing that she was evil, seeing all the scenes…” he laughed. “you saw her in a few scenes, and then she killed you. whoop-de-fucking-de, you aren’t the only person on this planet who got a rip-off death.” kaede’s expression was blank, and he clenched his hand into a fist. “i got betrayed by  _ two people  _ who i cared about the most. i can’t even meet kokichi’s eyes anymore. and you want to sit here and say that you cared about her, that it  _ hurt _ . sorry that the heroine died early, i know you hated that trope, but at least you only had to see one dead body.” he finished. 

kaede looked nonplussed, and gonta had to fight back the urge to punch her. “we’re getting closer to home. walk with me.”

“is that all you’re going to say?”

“i don’t feel like trying to convince another person that i have baggage, too.” her eyes glowed with annoyance. “come on. i think it’s fair to say that even though i had little screen time, i also had issues. and for the record, i had a crush on tsumugi too. short, since, as you so kindly reminded me, i didn’t make it that far, but it was there.”

“how can you say her name?” gonta’s voice cracked with repressed emotion. “i can’t even bear to remember her, and you can just say her name like it’s easy, and why do you always make it look so easy, kaede?” 

“i hate it,” she whispered harshly. “i hate it so much, but i can’t control that. i hardly feel anything, gonta-”

“can we trade?”

she shook her head. “if you think i’m strong, than you really know nothing. this isn’t something i’d wish upon you, not even if you paid me.” she ran her hand through her hair and turned on her heel. “let’s go home. i’m tired of arguing this.”

gonta, with hesitation, started walking again. he had an internal disagreement before deciding to say, “i’m sorry.”

kaede waved her hand. “it’s fine. i’m sorry too.”

_ apologizing to each other, walking home in an empty path, unspoken emotions on both ends… _

  
_ …the scene was really rather  _ **_plain,_ ** _ don’t you think? _

**Author's Note:**

> guys it's finally not a vent fic !
> 
> october-january are Not Bueno so apologies in advance if i only ever post vents 
> 
> anyway i'm sorry about gonta's personality :( i'm also sorry about abandoning this series. i have a lot of ideas: lots of irumatsu, saioumami, kaimaki, and redeemal arcs for some characters. expect either some kaede angst, kaito introspection, or irumatsu next
> 
> have a good day everyone. apologies again for the vent content


End file.
